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Getting married can be an expensive affair. Cut out some of the costs by following these great tips.

Your wedding dress:
Start shopping right away. You won’t feel rushed or pressured into buying something, and you’ll be able to shop smart.

Simple plain dresses are usually less expensive then the ones with lace, pearls/beads etc..

You could buy a plain dress and add lace, beads etc.. yourself. Or get someone to do it for you.

Rent or borrow a dress. If you like your mother`s, sister`s or friends dress ask them if you could borrow it. But don`t be offended if they refuse as a wedding dress is very sacred to most women.

Look around second hand shops/charity shops. You`ll be surprised at the amount they get given, and they are usually inexpensive.

The venue:
Book the ceremony/reception well in advance you may be able to negotiate a better price then you would if you left it to the last minute.

Have your wedding on off-peak months. November to April rates will probably be reduced. Christmas weddings are more expensive though so if you are planning a Christmas wedding you will have to cut your finances.

Instead of a grand ballroom or banquet hall, think less-expensive venues, like publicly owned buildings and parks, registry office, the church or temple hall, the backyard, the beach, a restaurant’s private room. You may have to get a permit to marry in a public place, but it will be less than a private banquet room.

Catering:
Look around for caterers. Get different quotes before you decide on one.

Choose cheaper entrees, like prawns instead of lobster, vegetables like broccoli instead of asparagus will cut the cost, too.

Cut down on courses. If you’re having a cocktail hour, do you really need an appetizer course? Do you need soup and salad?

Instead of waiter service, have a buffet bar.

Think ethnic! Mexican, Indian, Italian, or Chinese food is fun and much cheaper per person than the traditional wedding menu. See if your favorite restaurant caters.

If you are having a themed wedding create your menu around the theme.

Have the wedding cake only as dessert and eliminate any other sweets (eclairs, pastries, etc.).

Consider a wedding breakfast or brunch (omelettes, muffins, pancakes, French toast), or a tea (a variety of tea flavors, finger sandwiches, scones and jams, etc.) to save money.

The more tiers and decorations your cake has the more expensive it will be.

Buy your own drink it will work out a lot cheaper then paying the caterers or venues prices.

Photos:
Compare hourly fees and package deals to see which is more cost-effective for you.

Give disposable cameras as wedding favours. Then you can get copies of the days events from family and friends.

Have a professional photographer take the formal pictures and shoot the ceremony have guests take all reception photos.

Visit your local college`s photography department and check out some of the students’ portfolios. They will do your photography a lot cheaper and just as good as a professional

Ask friends and family to video the big day for you.

Flowers:
Use flowers that are in season and/or locally grown they’re less expensive than out-of-season flowers that must be shipped to your area.

Have bouquet with just a few large flowers, like orchids, tulips, lilies, or sunflowers, tied with a ribbon.

If you are marrying at Christmas or Easter, your church may already be decked out beautifully.

Arrange to share the cost of ceremony decorations with the couple marrying directly before or after you that day.

Use silk or dried flowers instead of fresh ones in table centerpieces.

Music:
DJs are less expensive than live bands.

Ask a family member or friends child to sing at the reception.

Hire music for the evening reception only. People are usually to busy chatting to notice any way.

Ask at the local college/university for young musicians.

Invitations:
Send invitations that are light enough when completely assembled to require only a single stamp for mailing.

Make your own invitation cards. They are cheaper and more personal.

If you are having a themed wedding make cards to do with the theme.

Transportation:
Limousines are cheap enough to hire for an hour. Find out in advance how long the ceremony will take.

Only hire a limo for the bride and groom have attendants driven in relatives’ cars, or have them drive themselves in groups.

You might be able to hire a horse and carriage for just as less. Check the Yellow pages for any in your area.

We hope these are of some use to you. Good luck
Author
Shawn Hickman

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Did you hear the one about the groom that got so drunk the night before his wedding he passed out during the nuptials?

What about the bride who deliberately chose ugly, clingy sheath dresses for her overweight bridesmaids just so she could look like a supermodel in comparison?

We’ve all heard wedding horror stories, - true tales of etiquette faux pas and heinous manners. But a classy, considerate bride does not indulge her ego, overlook her bridesmaids’ feelings or point out the poor taste of others, according to Gail Dunson, coauthor of “Bridezilla: True Tales From Etiquette Hell” and a certified protocol and etiquette consultant.

Dunson has heard hundreds of stories about wedding guests gone awry, tacky gifts and friendships ruined by wedding disasters on www.etiquettehell.com, the Web site she manages with partner Jeanne Hamilton.

“There are a lot of misguided people out there,” Dunson said. “The only thing that matters is getting down to the end of the aisle and exchanging vows. Everything else is superfluous.”

CORRESPONDENCE CRIMES

Unoriginal thank you notes for wedding gifts is the most mentioned correspondence crime, Dunson said.

“People buy tacky thank you notes and say, ‘Thanks for the gift. Love, Jane,’ or go to services on the Net that generate the thank-yous for them,” she said.

So, mass-mailed acknowledgements of wedding gifts are in poor taste, but what if the gift itself is tacky?

“The bride writes the most creative thank-you note possible,” Dunson said.

After that, the bride can do anything she wants with the present. Put it in a closet, smash it with a hammer in the backyard or give it to charity — just don’t tell the gift-giver what happened to their thoughtful thingamajig, Dunson said.

Mentioning gifts in the invitation is another nuptial no-no, Dunson said, which also includes sending registry cards, asking for money in lieu of gifts or any other presumption that a gift will be given.

“No one owes you a gift because you’re getting married, and no one needs to be told where to get you a gift,” she said. “Get it out of your pretty little head that you are owed gifts. People will give gifts because we will toss them into Etiquette Hell if they don’t.”

“A registry is fine as long as you don’t advertise it,” she clarified. “If people want to know where the bride is registered, people will ask.”

“It’s fine to put on the invitation, ‘No gifts please.’ Anything other than that leads the guests to think something else,” she said.

BRIDESMAID BLUNDERS

Because bridesmaid responsibilities generally include buying an outfit, planning the wedding shower, getting a gift for the shower and finding a gift for the wedding, the honor can be quite costly.

“Bridesmaids need to realize that saying yes carries responsibilities of time and resources,” Dunson said. “It’s more than pictures and parties. It’s an expensive proposition.”

What if the bridesmaids aren’t up to the challenge?

“You do not want a pain in the butt on your wedding day. There are enough details to take care of. You don’t want someone uncooperative,” Dunson said.

“The bride can ask her to step down, but doing so is usually a friendship breaker,” she said.

When ousting a bothersome bridesmaid, be honest, talk about your concerns, but don’t blatantly ask her to step down, Dunson said. See what you can do to make her job easier, or give her the chance to bow out. If she can’t spare the necessary time and money, maybe she would be better suited to simply coordinating a party or being an usher.

“You really have to be diplomatic if you want to preserve the friendship,” Dunson cautions.

But, the biggest bridesmaid blunder isn’t always on the bridesmaid’s part. Sometimes the bride herself is the one trampling on good taste.

Choosing dresses will be biggest decision the bride and bridesmaids do together, Dunson said, and she has some tips for the bride before the big shopping trip.

“Do some preshopping, but don’t get set on any ideas,” she said.

Instead, let your attendants have a say in the outfits they have to wear.

“These are not Barbie dolls to dress up. These are your friends. They need to look nice and be comfortable,” Dunson said. “It’s not about the dress, it’s about the friends.”

She suggests choosing outfits from the same designer line so everyone can find a style they feel confident in — a style that suits their body.

“If the bridesmaids look gorgeous, the bride is going to look gorgeous,” Dunson said. “If the bridesmaids don’t look good, I guarantee tongues are going to be wagging. The bride is the one who ends up looking ugly for her attitude.”

RECEPTIONS GONE WRONG

“Please don’t think the reception is a place to get money from your guests,” Dunson said.

Receiving lines for guests to hand envelopes of money to the groom, satin purses to collect cash for dances with the bride and cash bars are traditions past their prime, Dunson said.

“To actively solicit money is just a heinous faux pas,” Dunson said. “Asking your guests to bring out their wallets will certainly put a sour taste on their tongues. Guests are not paying customers. They are guests.”

The cake smash is another tradition Dunson would rather the bride and groom do without.

“We’re not against fun,” Dunson said. “We’re just against public displays of tacky.”

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- where did you spend your honeymoon, and how do you rate it?

Do opposites really attract? I believe there is some truth to this. At first the euphoria of a new relationship brings much elation and happiness, even in a relationship that is unpredictable as is with opposites. But after five years into the marriage will this now “old found love” still be alive and strong, and will these opposites still attract each other?

The first thing young people should know before getting married is that there is no such thing as Cinderella and Prince charming marriages. It just doesn’t work like that. At first the slipper fits, but later, after trials and tribulations, the slipper becomes too small.

There are no exceptions to this rule.

It is very crucial that couples develop and grow together through the daily grind of work, career, children, circumstances, and marital issues that can and will affect marriage tremendously.

Couples should believe in the same issues and concerns that become readily apparent in marriage. They need to deeply and thoroughly discuss the subjects of career, family, religion, etc, before saying those “I do’s”.

For younger couples who have never been married before, I really want to stress how important it is to communicate how you both feel about certain topics of importance and the roles each of you will assume in the marriage.

Lets take a look at just a few compatibility issues that might affect couples during marriage.

1) Your future husband thinks he would like to hunt for the sport of it, and is now an avid hunter and happy camper in the woods, but you have become involved in the conservation of animals. Will you know how to handle this incompatibility issue every time it comes up in your marriage? Or would you want to?

Unless you can come to an agreement of some sort about this major difference in character, then I don’t think you should get married.

2) Your future husband wants three or four children, but you’re not sure about even having one child! Are you willing to compromise your own wants and needs and give in to your husband’s desires? If not, I would advise you to hold off on getting married.

3) Your future wife has taken the position that she wants to have a career and maybe adopt a child later. You want her to stay home with your children. Is this going to work? No, it is not, and again, this can become a major problem in the home if it isn’t cleared up before marriage. If the issue cannot get resolved, I don’t think you should get married.

4) Your future wife is a Catholic and you are a Mormon? Are you prepared to deal with the stresses involved in such religious variation? Or maybe you will marry anyway and think you can change their beliefs after you’re married? Think again.

With these few compatibility issues all said and done, I still believe that two people can be opposites, and the marriage still be spiritually and mentally healthy.

It all boils down to the people in the marriage. Couples who are mentally and spiritually healthy are better equipped to deal with major issues that will involve them throughout the marriage.

Meaning, the marriage is based upon the foundation of love, commitment, honor, trust, and acceptance. These aspects for a sound and healthy marriage are what God designed marriage to be based upon!

On the flip side, if couples are going through problems of incompatibility there is no room for self-righteous behavior or control issues. This kind of behavior will wreck havoc during matters of difference. If a spouse becomes too intolerant and self-righteous the couples in the marriage cease to grow together and differences NEVER get resolved.

So what can we do BEFORE getting married that will help the marriage to be healthy and strong?

Lets ponder some pre-marital questions.

1) What will your responsibilities be in the marriage? Discuss together and share your thoughts with your future husband/wife. Agreement on these issues is very important. Know before hand what you’re getting into.

2) Express issues of importance with each other through proper communication. No marriage can withstand the perils of miscommunication or no communication at all.

3) Know what your spouse expects from you. What will your role be? What will your responsibilities be? What do you want for your marriage?

4) Know that you will be committed to you spouse through think and thin. If you go into marriage thinking that you can always get a quickie divorce, you have already gotten a divorce before you even said your “I do’s”!

5) Faults come out after marriage. Be prepared. Accept your new spouse for who they are.

It all comes down to taking your position in marriage seriously. Today many couples walk halfheartedly into marriage thinking they can get out of their responsibilities whenever they want. But this is wrong thinking and should not even be an option. Will the glass slipper ever fit?

Angie Lewis is the author of the new release:
Journey on the Roads Less Traveled

Available at Amazon and any online bookstore. ISBN 1413788904

http://www.heavenministries.com/

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